Job Status Contemplator T-Shirts

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

Not much money, glory, or praise

Professional woman in pub

"1971... 2015..."

Tonight's Lecture: Globalization. I've never worried about my job going overseas --- None of my jobs ever went anywhere.

Guys looks in the mirror and sees himself as a prisoner.

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

If I could sell my experience for half of what it cost me I could retire.

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

'I am not my job... my job is not me... I do not need my job to give my life a purpose...' 'Hey, did you hear the news? We're all laid off!' 'Stupid affirmations!'

Beware of a first kiss that speaks volumes.

"I feel I blend in well with the holes in my career ladder."

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

'I'm not saying this is a deadend job, but you can forget a trophy wife.'

Bowther, Wilkin, Lynch & Fisk

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

"I give and I give but all they see is take."

Actually, with bachelors degrees in philosophy, we were lucky to get this job.

I don't see a future for me in my present job. They don't reward mediocrity.

"I forget - are we a species that mates for life?"

"I should've done this years ago. All the good ones got taken."

Echoes - 'Hellooooo'.

A long way towards retirement...

"I don't want a divorce, but I would like a gap year."

'Do you promise to love,honor and cherish -- until one of you decides to become a 'free agent'?'

"I'm at that sweet spot in my career...right between 'young and underpaid' and 'old and too expensive.'"

'You're sweet, Rodney -- I'll put you on my short list.'

'I think I just blew my diet. Do you know what the glycemic index is for a communion host?'