Job Seeking Humor Fan Pillows

'Candor is a plus.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

The Snooze Bar.

Beer Parasol.

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

No, I don

tRUMp, Pirate President

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

The bird feeder.

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"Fish finder."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation