Job Security Warriors Pillows

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

37 years in the same position.

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

"A wage increase to match inflation."

'Of course, you realise my chief of staff has more power and influence than your chief of staff.'

Run, Mike, Run!

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

'To show you I'm not all bad, I won't be letting you go until after 'Bring Your Child To Work Day'.'

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

Studio in December

Joan hits the glass ceiling: 'Sorry, but I've decided to go with Wally of Arc...'

'Times are tough, Smith, but I don't want to lay you off. So, to keep you working, I want you to wash our building. That should keep you busy for the next decade.'

'And this is Bert, our intern. He's been with the company for 46 years!'

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

"Now I don't want to alarm you, but are you familiar with the term 'On the scrapheap'!"

Redundancies

"Grunzman, I really appreciate you. I appreciate you to work somewhere else."

"Ruddy AI. Bad enough to be replaced by a computer, never mind a COFFEE MAKER."

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

'We think a lot alike - and that threatens my uniqueness to this company.'