Job Search Junkies Gifts

If you worked here, you wouldn't have to take the bus to work!

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

Good Luck!

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

How are you at decision making?

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."