Job Junkie Gifts

Workaholic Ned Fulgum takes his first day off in over fifty-seven years.

Overjumpers

World Tour.

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'Leadership training.'

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

Today's alpha-lesson is "Keep a journal." The average person lets life pass them by. The events of their lives fade into nothingness. An alpha knows that long after they're gone, their thoughts and experiences will be of great interest to historians. That's not an original thought. I read it in the papyrus Randus Maximus XIV left in a safe deposit box after he helped conquer Judea.

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

"I like to keep things simple."

Upholding the Law

"Let's take in a trial."

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

"I just Googled you and found out your resume is fake!"

'As you know, this job requires leadership experience. Have you had any?'

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

"I plead guilty, Your Honor, but only in a nice, white-collar sort of way."

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

'If you can control your emotions I will make you a branch manager. Yippee.'

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

'Ladies and Gentlemen of the press- what is your verdict...?'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)

"I keep up with all the journals."

Replica Football Merchandise

'What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you're dead.'

STRIP "I've tried everywhere to get a new winter court...but all the stores are full of next years summer collections"

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'

'The key to understanding our organizational structure is in the boss's motto: 'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer!''

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

Lawyers chasing a sacrificial lamb.

The door to the office of the New York State Attorney General with a sign that reads "Gone on a fishing expedition".