Job Opportunities Gifts

"Sometimes I wish you had taken that job in New York."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

Getting through the week.

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

"I'm not worried about you, Henley. You'll land on your feet."

Doctor to man: 'You're a workaholic - you tested positive for elbow grease.'

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

"I don't need your resume. Your current employer forwarded me a ton of security video that you're featured in."

"And just how long have you been, 5' 10"?"

'Don't be nervous but I think we're about to go LIVE on the new system.'

"Wow, listen to that: "Do you have a pioneer spirit? Wolves needed for reintroduction into European National Parks"..."

"Raise your hand if you're the only one that's not getting let go."

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

I think you should go after my job!

Something tells me his current firm aren't going to be happy to let him go!

'I do my best work when I'm being paid a huge salary.'

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

'Come in please, I have something I'd like to bounce off you!'

'This new role will involve some extra responsibilities...of course you'll appreciate that there won't be any extra funding...it's a role for which you are uniquely qualified!'

"Hire him. You can't teach shadows like that."

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

'Unfortunately when our last window of opportunity opened up, we mistakenly crawled out of it rather than into it.'