New Job Opportunity Gifts

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'You're overqualified.'

I think you should go after my job!

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Where your mind & battle are los

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'How fast can you hype?'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Others will fight for you

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Outer Space Outsourcing

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

Work/Life Balance

Bo're'droom