New Job Offer Gifts

'How would you like to be VP of Medieval Thinking?'

"Have the section on how to get a raise removed from the employee handbook!"

'I was originally promised a post in finance.'

"Here in your resume, I see that you expect compensation commensurate with the value you bring. No one should work for free, son."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Where your mind & battle are los

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

Butterfly Woman

'Let's not go by the book.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'How fast can you hype?'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

Others will fight for you

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

Work/Life Balance

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Outer Space Outsourcing

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'