Job Loss Gifts

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."

"We're still the same, great company we've always been, only we've ceased to exist."

"Got canned for calling in sick too often. I thought absence was supposed to make the heart grow fonder."

2016: Final human job replaced by robot.

"Take the severance package, Hayward. The rest of the board wanted a ritual slaying."

What Bob thought outside the box.

"Remember how I said I was happiest when we had nothing?"

'It appears we've accidentally laid off all the people who 'do' things.'

'Your health and pension benefits will remain intact, but we have eliminated your salary.'

"By the way, clean out your desk means your fired."

'Would you prefer a quick termination or a slow, painful phaseout?'

"I don't know what the hell happened - one minute I'm at work in Flint, Michigan, then there's a giant sucking sound and suddenly here I am in Mexico."

"Is that one of the emotions people talk about?"

'Which bit of 'You're fired' don't you understand?'

'I really enjoyed my job. Management found out about it and fired me.'

Not my fault! Not my department! Not my problem! Not my job!

'I've just been laid off. Is it too late to sign that union card you were telling me about?'

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

'No no Mr. Peters, you are not being outsourced. You are being virtualised in 'the cloud'.'

"Brodman, after giving it much thought, I've decided to let you go for no apparent reason."

"Bad news, hon. I got replaced by an app."

'You're fired, eliminated, laid off, let go, downsized, terminated ...'

"When times are tough we all have to make sacrifices...and you're ours."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Children, remember me saying that Santa was quite poorly? Well, I've got some very sad news...'

Costs outweigh the Benefits. Please Help.

Career Path.

'I used to be on the cutting edge, always pushing the envelope. Now I stuff them.'

"You can quit now, or stick it out and wait for a severance package."

'I worked at the Cloning Research lab. I was replaced by myself.'

'We've been sacked!' (Employment tribunal)

'Dan lost his job in October, but we've made some lifestyle changes that have helped to compensate for the drop in income.'

'I hear you lost your job as a caddie.'

Friendly Fire: 'Good to see you, Geoff. . . wife and kids ok? How's the garden looking this summer? You're sacked!'