Job Loss Gifts

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."

"We're still the same, great company we've always been, only we've ceased to exist."

"Got canned for calling in sick too often. I thought absence was supposed to make the heart grow fonder."

2016: Final human job replaced by robot.

"Take the severance package, Hayward. The rest of the board wanted a ritual slaying."

What Bob thought outside the box.

"Remember how I said I was happiest when we had nothing?"

'It appears we've accidentally laid off all the people who 'do' things.'

'Your health and pension benefits will remain intact, but we have eliminated your salary.'

"I don't know what the hell happened - one minute I'm at work in Flint, Michigan, then there's a giant sucking sound and suddenly here I am in Mexico."

'Would you prefer a quick termination or a slow, painful phaseout?'

"Is that one of the emotions people talk about?"

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

'Which bit of 'You're fired' don't you understand?'

Not my fault! Not my department! Not my problem! Not my job!

'I've just been laid off. Is it too late to sign that union card you were telling me about?'

"Brodman, after giving it much thought, I've decided to let you go for no apparent reason."

"Bad news, hon. I got replaced by an app."

'No no Mr. Peters, you are not being outsourced. You are being virtualised in 'the cloud'.'

'Children, remember me saying that Santa was quite poorly? Well, I've got some very sad news...'

'You're fired, eliminated, laid off, let go, downsized, terminated ...'

"When times are tough we all have to make sacrifices...and you're ours."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

Costs outweigh the Benefits. Please Help.

'I used to be on the cutting edge, always pushing the envelope. Now I stuff them.'

'I worked at the Cloning Research lab. I was replaced by myself.'

Career Path.

'I hear you lost your job as a caddie.'

Friendly Fire: 'Good to see you, Geoff. . . wife and kids ok? How's the garden looking this summer? You're sacked!'

'We've been sacked!' (Employment tribunal)

"You can quit now, or stick it out and wait for a severance package."

'We'll break right here for coffee and update our resumes.'

'I am quickly becoming unemployable. I have been unemployed for two months and all these IT jobs ask for knowledge of software I never heard of.'

'Looks like we're in for another headcount reduction.'

'It's nothing personal, Osgood -- We're letting you go as part of our affirmative action program.'