Jj Abrams Critic Gifts

Star Wars vs Star Trek

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

The americanisation of vulture.

Kritik's Korner

A cross section of the brain shows what a man thinks about.

Armageddon

If humans instead of dinosaurs had lived when the big asteroid hit.

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"Sir, a bunch of bald-headed, castrated humanoids wearing Nikes just materialised with their luggage back there."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

"This is a big seller, and we get them cheap...from China."

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

As Seen Watching TV

Thinker, but not too deep: 'I wonder what's on TV tonight?'

Aladdin and the magic telemarketer lamp. Your first 3 wishes are free!* *By accepting wishes, user agrees to lifetime monthly charges, activation fees, and all applicable taxes.

Justin Timberlake

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

"Can you hear me now?"

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

Emily Ratajkowski

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

Supremacist Court

"Bill Gates, the richest man in the world, is a nerd!"

Fired Big Shots Who's Who.

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom

Woke Jersey Shore

Hear No Evil, SIA No Evil, Speak No Evil.