Jester Of Ironies Gifts

Sponsored grump, donate now: 'This isn't much of a challenge for you really, is it?'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"I see the downsizing continues."

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

Books / Coffee table books

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

King Pin

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

"On your previous visit you were describing how you were unable to express grief at the death of your first dog, Ranger. Please continue."

Comedy course highlights fake nose

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Poet's Corner

Watch the author miss his deadline 4 to 7

"As per your father's wishes, the reading of the will shall be preceded by a tight five-minute comedy set inspired by my dating life -- or lack thereof!"

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

"Would you be upset if we marked it as humor?"

"Youngsters these days are spoilt,apart from the triple-bypass,five divorces,4 estranged children and cirrhosis working 80 hours a week never did me any harm."

"No, no, I'm just here for the relationship."

'Ah, Gibbon. Are you learning anything?'

"My first concern is the well-being of my crew."

Supersonic comic: 'A funny thing happened on the way here...'

'Irony Board"

'Try and get my good side.'

Home for the Holidays Kit.

'He does.'

Woman throws a book titled 'How To Get Along With Others' at a passer-by.

Big fish can't eat the little ones.

'Sir, I suggest we analyze our current cash flow situation in light of the obvious thematic parallels it has with several classic short stories!'