Jazz Beach Goers Gifts

A fat saxophonist on the beach wearing a rubber ring.

Holiday time.

Jazz quartet, piano, bass, sax and drums

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

'That was Charlie Parker's 'Ornithology.' I threw in a flat nine in bar 16 and a tritone substitution in bar 22. Who noticed that? Hands up if you noticed!'

Saxophonist playing on the map of Cornwall.

Man with a bad voice practices his singing thinking he is alone.

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'A bucket and pail would have been enough.'

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

A Crab Tubing in a Tidepool

"Any other bright ideas, Mr. Sex-on-the-Beach?"

Tycoon on beach listens to "office sounds" on CD player

'Typical male: Too proud to ask for directions or take advice! Look at us now!'

'I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked.'

'Now that's a sexy looking bathing suit!'

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

"Was that a wave or did they just flip us off?"

'Oh stop complaining, if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!'

"Save the thong. I'd like to floss afterwards."

Jazzy Crossing: A group of jazz dancers cross the road at a Jazzy Crossing sign in a very Jazzy way

Musician plays long saxophone immersed in the sea to attract music loving fish.

Phantom of the Punch and Judy Show

Crab conductor.

'Umm...guys, this isn't tanning spray.'

"If it's not safe to go in the water and it's not safe to go in the sun, why did you bring me here?"

George Melly.

Amy Winehouse

"No land women want me, so I'm off to try my hand in the sea."

"We're saved! We're saved!"

"Dad fell asleep while working on his computer, so I buried him in sand. Not because it was fun, but because I wanted to use his computer."