Jane Austen Gifts

My mum likes watching costume dramas.

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Nerd tryouts.

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

Cut out and keep your own Jane Austen.

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

'I still don't understand why I couldn't use the path to get your Jane Austen stamps.'

Baldness Facts

"So much for watching a Jane Austen movie with my date. He kept waiting for the car chase!"

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

'Sorry Gav, it takes more than a wet shirt to look like Mr Darcy.'

'You and I are going to have a long talk when I get you home.'

Darcy's feelings for Elizabeth increase.

Middle Age Spread.

'What d'you mean-you THINK you've seen this before-you've seen EVERYTHING before!'

"Oh, that Jane. I thought you were talking about Jane Austen."

Mothers Pride and Prejudice.

"Hmm, most common places old farts leave their glasses and car keys!!"

"Is it simply your unsupported word, or did anyone actually see you on the night in question writing a biography of Jane Austen?"

Jane Austen.

"It's another letter from Mr. Wentworth. He writes, 'You up?' and then there are some pictures of a smiley face and an eggplant."

'What do you mean 'What would Jane Austen do?''

"You know, in Jane Austen's time a little well placed irony would have sufficed."

"Remember, now-you're sense, I'm sensibility."

Cut out and keep your own Mr Darcy!

'Sorry, Gav, but it takes more than a wet shirt to look like mr Darcy.'

Sense, Sensibility & Sid, Attorneys at Law. 'We cover all the bases.'

'This is because you disagree with my theory on existentialism?'

"Here's a less known Jane Austen novel that you might enjoy. It's about carpentry and lawn care, called 'Fence and Fencibility."

'Love your blog. Very Jane Austen.'

'You can tell when you're getting older when your ears are hairier than your head!'