Austen Admirer Gifts

"It's another letter from Mr. Wentworth. He writes, 'You up?' and then there are some pictures of a smiley face and an eggplant."

"You know, in Jane Austen's time a little well placed irony would have sufficed."

"So much for watching a Jane Austen movie with my date. He kept waiting for the car chase!"

Cut out and keep your own Jane Austen.

'I still don't understand why I couldn't use the path to get your Jane Austen stamps.'

Jane Austen.

Sense, Sensibility & Sid, Attorneys at Law. 'We cover all the bases.'

Elizabeth admired Darcy's £150,000 Philippe Patek

"My Mr Darcy!"

"You know what, 'Pride and Prejudice' is not at all what I was expecting, but I love it. . ."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

So you're a mocking bird...

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

Bird Torture.

'I know it's gassy...'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

'I think he's lonely.'

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

Love

Why would birdie need newspaper?

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."