Jail Joke Fans Pillows

'The first time it was a fine. Second time, fine and probation. Third time...'

'Let's get a kitty.'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'Well, I hope you're a people person -- the prisons are very overcrowded.'

'It's for you.'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

'Hey. You're back.'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

'They robbed the bank, I was just the pilot-fish...'

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

"Ironically, I've got no bars."

Exercise yard: 'It's windy this morning!' (Arrows on uniform all blowing away).

"I cloned a guy in Reno. How 'bout yourself?"

'We've been married so long we finish each other's prison sentences.'

'So, how was your day?'

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

"Each time I was told to put myself in another man's shoes, I walk away in 'em."

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"