Jackpot Hopefuls Pillows

'I'd like to take this opportunity to say goodbye to my wife, relatives and friends.'

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

"Have you been scratching this?"

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you win.'

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

'IT'S NOT YOU!'

'We're reconciled-thanks to the Lottery rollover!'

'Has anything changed since your Dad won the lottery?'

An affair to remember.

'Since stocks are so wacko now,I'm advising clients to go with their lucky numbers on lotto tickets.'

'Be careful! It's her first time winning the jackpot!'

"Why is it that every time we get invited to a pot luck, they expect us to bring deviled eggs?"

When Tia Carmen says... "Every misfortune you have carries in it the seed of tomorrow's good luck!" it means... "I didn't win the lottery last week, but this week that jackpot's mine!"

"We're still pre-rich."

'My story? I was phoning my boss when I thought the sweepstake's people were at my door and I told him to take his job and shove it.'

'Our troubles are over Lew.. I've just won the lottery!'

"Hoping to win the lottery is not a retirement strategy!"

'You did hit the jackpot, sir - we're it.'

"Tonight's lotto numbers are..."

"No one knew for sure who won the lotto jackpot. . . but Jimmy indicated that his fiscal situation had improved."

'I win!!

Bartender: 'Take it from me buddy,stay clear of that one.She's only interested in your money.'

We thought we'd put in the details later!

'I'm sorry. The possibility that you may have won $10 million in the sweepstakes won't do as collateral.'

'I only need a job until I win the lottery.'

Vending machines at work: Snacks, Coffee, Glimmer of Hope

'You're failing chemistry!' 'But...you're taking away my dream of becoming a professional athlete!'

"I need a professional money manager. The success of my investment portfolio is predicated on my winning the lottery."

'Has winning all that money changed him, you ask...?'

'I was close to winning the pools this Saturday. The bloke next door won.'