Ivory Tinkler Gifts

Jerry Lordan

Concert Pianist.

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Piano Recital

'Roger's busy making a cat-flap in the kitchen.'

'Sharon's into genetic engineering!'

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"Are we overthinking this?"

'I'm afraid this is going to lead to regulation of my invention.'

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

Keyboard player

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

"I felt like 'data analyst' sounded better than 'good guesser'."

'That's a bit better. Persistence pays off - although, not as well as it did when I was your age.'

With a little twist on the sidecar concept, Harold was able to ride his motorcycle well into his later years.

Athen's Theater. "Oedipus Rex" didn't test well as a title, Sophocles. How would you feel about calling it "My Big Fat Greek Tragedy"?

Most of his innovative product ideas first saw life in his home studio.

Where baby grand pianos come from.

'Ok, ok, ok. Just tell me the title.'

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

Choose any combination of the words above to name your brilliant first novel.

"Who do you want to replace when you grow up?"

"What was Santa thinking calling me Dancer? I think I have two left feet..."

Diy section in library

"Good idea. Bad execution."

"I've just got back the job description for your new assistant."

Blank canvas on easel is sculptor's model.

Precussionist

Man sticking matchsticks together for Bryant and May

'The main reason I took up the piano was, it's the only musical instrument that gives you a place to set your wine.'

Artist paints UNDO icon onto canvas.

"And now Professor Weyfeld, of Columbia University, with some liberal claptrap."

'If it's any condolence, these instructions are in five languages, so most of the world is as frustrated as you!'

"Use less powder. You're planting them too deep."