Ivf Consultant Mugs

'In vitro fertilization and sperm banks. I remember the old days when you couldn't outsource having kids.'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

Men explained.

'So this is goodbye then!'

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"They also left a pamphlet on the benefits of breast feeding."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

IVF assessment centre.

"It's perfect for starting a family."

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

Three Parent Baby

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

No bottle feeding.

Pregnancy Test

'Superbaby...More powerful than an electric breast pump!'

Fertility Center.

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'