Ivf Clinic Staff Mugs

IVF Clinic: Free 'Baby on Board' T-Shirt To All Successful Patients

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

IVF assessment centre.

"It's perfect for starting a family."

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

Three Parent Baby

Pregnancy Test

"So, how long have you been trying?"

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

Fertility Center.

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

'To put it in simple English, all you have to do is put a few drops...

"You have natural causes.''

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

Death in the red zone

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

'First we treat! Then we'll worry about a diagnosis!'

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

'Don't take this the wrong way, but these pills you have to take come in a child-proof bottle.'

Samaritan Pet Hospital

"What if she's not my type?"

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."

Ringing the Doorbell