Ivf Consultant T-Shirts

'In vitro fertilization and sperm banks. I remember the old days when you couldn't outsource having kids.'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

Men explained.

'So this is goodbye then!'

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"They also left a pamphlet on the benefits of breast feeding."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

IVF assessment centre.

"It's perfect for starting a family."

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

Pregnancy Test

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Three Parent Baby

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

No bottle feeding.

'Superbaby...More powerful than an electric breast pump!'

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

Fertility Center.

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'