Fertility Expert Mugs

"I'm just hoping to make it to the Final Four."

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

IVF assessment centre.

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

Three Parent Baby

Pregnancy Test

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

"So, how long have you been trying?"

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

'I'm qualified to deal with any traumatic event because I've raised five children.'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

Fertility Center.

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

'Last one in is a rotten egg.'

Science and mothers day

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

Sperm Bank: Penetrations...Withdrawals.

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

You're expecting twins. What! I wanted a least triplets!

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."