Itchy Eye Epic Pillows

Hay fever hotline.

Glance Exchange

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

MD to patient: 'So, it's a little fuzzy and you're seeing spots?'

"The oath according to the Tolkien Pixie God of Goblinara doesn't apply here Mr. Brown."

Lord of the Rungs: Window Cleaner

Reading Glasses

I'm no longer allergic to flowers!

John's Laser Shop and Eye Patches 4 U Shops

"Higher...to the right. Ahhh...that's nice!"

'Behind every great teacher is a class rolling its eyes.'

'Why are you scratching yourself?'

'What do you call a pair of ghostly glasses?...Spectre-calls!'

"The mosquitoes are coming!"

"Your agent is ready to look you in the eye now."

'Are you eyeballing me???!! Don't you eyeball me boy!!!'

'Bob was horrified when he realised that he'd mixed up the perscriptions'

'Yes, I've been working with bees for a long time. Why do you ask?'

"Wake up – you're Tolkien in your sleep again."

'You say you got poison ivy in the woods. How can I help you if you don't show me where it itches?'

"If he finds his glasses, we're dead!"

"I replaced every window in my house. Then I discovered I had a crack in my glasses."

"I've got sand everywhere!"

"How embarrassing..."

Nobody likes a detached retina.