Eye Prankster Pillows

MD to patient: 'So, it's a little fuzzy and you're seeing spots?'

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'I could eat you.'

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"We've invented a new word!"

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Why are you waving that big magnet over my hard drive?

Tonite: Gala Costume Party. Got your costume for the big party? No, I'll just part my hair on the other side and go as my own reflection.

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"I've decided to have a kid."

Hallowe'en wake up call

Extremely Realistic Virtual Reality.

Pants Uglifier!

"My dad said I couldn't scare him, so I'm hiding all his data like it was erased. Get ready for a loud scream."

'... and when the user's blood pressure goes over 100, the computer shuts down, the siren sounds, and the neon sign beings to flash!'

It says, Did you know you can now call up any spirit for just 10

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

'Okay! Who changed my screensaver?'

'Sir, you need special help to fix this problem. Please hold the line whilst I put you through to our exorcist.'

"This is a special place we have for phishing scammers!"

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

'Nice of them to invite us to a dance.'

"We let Bubba come up with all the office passwords. He's a terrible speller."

'I hacked into the school computer, and flunked all the teachers out.'

An artist waits to ambush an easel

"Student unicorn"