Italian Cuisine Explorers Seeking Literary Laughter Gifts

'Romano, Romano, wherefore art thou Romano?'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

"What will change my life?"

'How did you get your pastry so thin?' Steam roller.

Couple in restaurant, "Sorry it's slow, Chef's got the runs"

"You all here? Sonny Primero? Big Guiseppe? Carmine? Al Fresco? Wait, where's Al Fresco?" "He's outside."

Operating table.

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

"I'm supposed to be on a science-based diet - but I'm doing my own research."

'Yechh, this tastes fishy.' 'It's fish.'

'How about a drink?' 'You've got gravy.'

'I don't eat red meat.' 'This is green.'

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

'What's the soup of the day?' 'Heinz.'

"...You're featured as a full-page spread."

'Diet cake: Mix flour, sugar and eggs in a bowl. Pour it into a baking tin at 200°C for 30 minutes and let it cool down. Then, feed it to the birds.'

"What wine would you recommend to go with male chauvinist pork?"

'No, the fish isn't battered - the cook just roughs it up a bit!'

Customer being served a pizza with a 'no smoking' topping.

'This evening's specials include 72-month financing on the filet mignon.'

Window sign: Tastes just like chicken cafe...open

"Now, girls, after me. Boo-ya-bes, a mixed fish stew. Boo-ya-bes, a mixed fish stew."

At 'The Quiche Truck Stop' there are restrooms labeled 'Women,' 'Men,' and 'Real Men.'

'I hope all your chefs have been practising their knife safety skills!'

"What am I, chopped liver?"

Pet-A-Manger

'You said you were taking me out for Italian!'