It Pro Gifts

A little gentler, Dwayne!

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

The Computer Bore

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

21st century water cooler conversations.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Out and In.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'