It Issues Gifts

'In case of computer crash' (break the glass).

"'Unexpected error.' It stopped being 'unexpected' after the first ten times it happened."

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

Computer Room.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

"We've made it more hellish by modeling it after corporate workplaces."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

Kevin had a computer virus.

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

Computer Mouse gets Torn Off.

'The staff are healthy enough, it's the computers that keep getting a virus!'

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!