Island Irony Enthusiast Gifts

"Fiji wants to protect democracy by not holding elections..."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

Perfection Troubleshootors.

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."

If found please return to mountain

Bureaucrat Walking his Pet

"George was only interested in mega-bytes, so I got him this rottweiler..."

The Boss of the Kleptomania Clinic has turned up for work only to discover his Clinic has been stolen

Looks like another hostile takeover...