Island Getaway Planner Gifts

'If you ask me the time again, I'll punch you!'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"If we'd gone South for the winter, we'd be back by now."

'You know your problem, Harlan? You need to get in touch with your 'inner beach bum'.'

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

"I predict six more weeks of winter...But I'm sure we'll tough it out."

That's my summer place.

It is a little odd, I have come to a place completely off the grid to recharge my batteries.

Little Taxes.

Waiting for the 5 o'clock hooter.

This is our great new cruise to the Middle East - 40 days and 40 nights.

'While we're at it - let's cruise the Bahamas!'

The summer the people depart, and life on Monster Island resumes its leisurely pace.

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

Travel Agent - Building not finished

Step one...try to relax.

'Good news, I've just booked our holiday, it's two weeks in a caravan in Wales.'

Bed & Breakfast

"I think I prefer a hot Italian sun on my back and a hot Italian hand on my backside..."

"I'm just pricing this second honeymoon you've been on about. . . were you thinking of tagging along?"

Castaway with nothing to do.

"Well, me and my mobile igloo are off to Florida for the winter."

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

"We can't blame the travel agent, you asked for somewhere quiet and away fro it all."

"Looks like on of those 'Staycationers' in his motor home."

"We look so happy. Do we really want to destroy that by traveling through Europe together?"

'You know how vacations are. You don't even get to the end of the block before your dad starts asking if it's over yet.'

"You usually don't see them so close to people who urinate in the water."

Suitcase Trailer

'That's 59p for the flight will you be needing the £345 'access to the toilet' option?'

"I'm sorry--I meant to say 'island paradise,' not 'soft target'"

Making a fortune, wish you were here. Good old Schultzy never did learn how to relax!

'Where do you see yourself in 24 hours?'