Island Getaway Planner Prints

'If you ask me the time again, I'll punch you!'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"If we'd gone South for the winter, we'd be back by now."

'You know your problem, Harlan? You need to get in touch with your 'inner beach bum'.'

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

"I predict six more weeks of winter...But I'm sure we'll tough it out."

Waiting for the 5 o'clock hooter.

Little Taxes.

This is our great new cruise to the Middle East - 40 days and 40 nights.

'While we're at it - let's cruise the Bahamas!'

The summer the people depart, and life on Monster Island resumes its leisurely pace.

Bed & Breakfast

"I'm just pricing this second honeymoon you've been on about. . . were you thinking of tagging along?"

'Good news, I've just booked our holiday, it's two weeks in a caravan in Wales.'

"I think I prefer a hot Italian sun on my back and a hot Italian hand on my backside..."

Step one...try to relax.

Travel Agent - Building not finished

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

Castaway with nothing to do.

"We look so happy. Do we really want to destroy that by traveling through Europe together?"

"We can't blame the travel agent, you asked for somewhere quiet and away fro it all."

"You usually don't see them so close to people who urinate in the water."

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

"Looks like on of those 'Staycationers' in his motor home."

'You know how vacations are. You don't even get to the end of the block before your dad starts asking if it's over yet.'

"Well, me and my mobile igloo are off to Florida for the winter."

Suitcase Trailer

'That's 59p for the flight will you be needing the £345 'access to the toilet' option?'

"I'm sorry--I meant to say 'island paradise,' not 'soft target'"

"...and sunny and mild for the next week. Wait. I've just been handed a revised forecast for the Whitleys' vacation."

'Where do you see yourself in 24 hours?'

"...but if it's a business trip why are you taking your fly pole?"