Irony Interpreters Pillows

"Rule #1: DON'T talk about sore throat club!"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

Horror movies

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

Deer Season Open.

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Flyfishing for dummies.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

End the Winter Blues

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"