Irony Interpreters Pillows

"Rule #1: DON'T talk about sore throat club!"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

Horror movies

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Flyfishing for dummies.

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."