Irony Humorists Gifts

Here 'lies' Pinocchio

Polly txt speak

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"Gee, thanks pal."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

Alien embryo growing in earth.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Puss in cement boots"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

The First Fire Stick

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"She's a miniature."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

Giant Monster in Bath

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'