Ironical Humorists Gifts

'... and I got this one for being a dishwasher.'

Polly txt speak

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"Gee, thanks pal."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Alien embryo growing in earth.

"Puss in cement boots"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

The First Fire Stick

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I don't think the employees like me.'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"She's a miniature."

Giant Monster in Bath