Literary Humorists Gifts

Heimishe Hamlet

Our housekeeping

"'See Spot run.' 'See Spot run?' Who wrote this crap?"

Danae's Prescient Auto-Biography: '...My prescient autobiography is a publisher's dream...no need for fact-checking!'

'Damn, this guy swiped my pick up line.'

Meet The Author's Wife. The author is too surly to talk.

"Do you like your job at the prison library?"

Tunnel of Vengeance.

'Calm down, it's just Little Red Riding Hood: I'll take care of it...'

Vegetarian Bookshop - books include War and Peas, Goodbye Mr Chips.

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'

'Let's face it we're on the shelf.'

I can't tell if I like this book or not - I'm only reading the top three lines of each page.

Whack the author.

I wandered lonely as a cloud in the shape of an insufferable jerk no one could stand to be around.

"Puss in cement boots"

"What this book lacks in content it more than makes up for in the reflective quality of its pages."

"Dad, can you read?"

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

Polly txt speak

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

The First Fire Stick

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"Hipsters"

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Alien embryo growing in earth.