Humorists Who Enjoy Irony Gifts

Beware of the Reformed Character: ' ... by this point I realised that I was carrying a lot of anger around and I needed to address that, so ...'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

End the Winter Blues

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

Clancy: Extending Overdrafts

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."