Humorists Who Enjoy Irony Pillows

Beware of the Reformed Character: ' ... by this point I realised that I was carrying a lot of anger around and I needed to address that, so ...'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

End the Winter Blues

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

Perfection Troubleshootors.

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

Clancy: Extending Overdrafts

You're Out Of Order

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."