People With A Sense Of Irony Pillows

'At the end of the day, I always feel I could have done less!'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

End the Winter Blues

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

"That's an early Vermeer, very early."

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

You're Out Of Order

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

Perfection Troubleshootors.

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."