Irony Fan Pillows

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

"God, I hate to fly."

'The good news is that we can cure you. The bad news is the cure is worse than the disease.'

'Mess yourself up a little -- the key to this business is authenticity,'

'Way to go, Chang. Not such a great wall if you forget to lock the door.'

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"The indians had asked for fire water...The translation error would prove costly"

"I just won the Euromillions."

'No thanks. I'm just looking...'

'I know that face! Don't tell me... 'Stars in their eyes.' Right?'

The 'Death Tax'

'Alcoholism is inevitable...It is well known that cats don't like water...'

The Nile Floods

Guide dog with eyesight proplem.

'He's been at it too long. Now, when the bell rings, Dr. Pavlov salivates.'

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

Man in hell reads a sign declaring his eternal damnation.

'He called me a psycho.'

"To help prevent people from hating lawyers so much, I always send a 'Thank You' card to everyone I sue."

The World Will End On...Thursday.

"We're not all grim you know - I'm a happy reaper."

'Always start off with a joke, try to lighten the mood a bit.'

I left that article about superior communication skills on that thingy over there by the whatchamacallit.

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

"I dragged a man out of a burning building. Un"fortunately, it was a fireman...

'I want to give back to my community by helping others. Aren't lottery winners a particularly sad and needy group?'

'Surgeon General's warning on junk food! Lighten up a little!'

"A relaxing moment turned into the right moment which turned out to be Marvin's last moment."

Misery Memoirs Bumper Pack.

You are here.

Tree Crash: Tree Care Specialist

'You may be the world's greatest hypnotist, but you have been found guilty. I sentence you to an all-expenses-paid month long trip to Cancun.'

'Due to all the government bailouts, you'll need to earn more. We're counting on you to bail us out.'

'Since you ask...business is terrible!"

'They've only gone and lost my cloak of invisibility.'