Irony Fan Pillows

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

"God, I hate to fly."

'The good news is that we can cure you. The bad news is the cure is worse than the disease.'

'Mess yourself up a little -- the key to this business is authenticity,'

'Way to go, Chang. Not such a great wall if you forget to lock the door.'

"I just won the Euromillions."

'No thanks. I'm just looking...'

The 'Death Tax'

"The indians had asked for fire water...The translation error would prove costly"

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

'Alcoholism is inevitable...It is well known that cats don't like water...'

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

'I want to give back to my community by helping others. Aren't lottery winners a particularly sad and needy group?'

'Surgeon General's warning on junk food! Lighten up a little!'

'Always start off with a joke, try to lighten the mood a bit.'

The Nile Floods

"We're not all grim you know - I'm a happy reaper."

The World Will End On...Thursday.

"To help prevent people from hating lawyers so much, I always send a 'Thank You' card to everyone I sue."

'He called me a psycho.'

Guide dog with eyesight proplem.

'He's been at it too long. Now, when the bell rings, Dr. Pavlov salivates.'

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

"I dragged a man out of a burning building. Un"fortunately, it was a fireman...

I left that article about superior communication skills on that thingy over there by the whatchamacallit.

"Quit complaining and decorate it! Number one, it's tradition, number two, it's nobody we know..."

Adult Amusement Park

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

Cornucopia in a cage.

"I guess a diverse workplace won't solve all our problems."

"It's Friday the 13th. I feel lucky!"

"I learnt to stop worrying about losing the war on drugs."

"Nice haircut."

"Dang it!"

Burke and Hare going to watch 'Tomb Raider'.