Irony Explorers Gifts

'I wish to complain. It floated.'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Now you can send it."

Detective and child follow footprints using magnifying glasses.

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"Call me!"

"...it's another metal detector."

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

Safari tourists surrounded by lions following a 4x4 car crash.

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

Bob suddenly felt uncertain about the journey which lay ahead.

"If it makes any difference, it's a remarkable piece of plagiarism."

Planet of the Ants

"...it was a bad idea getting them a kitten."

The Shy Nudist Camp.

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

"I love these quiet evenings at home battling alcoholism."

'The Pope has decided to issue another apology for not issuing an apology.'

'I realize this has been your favorite camping spot since you were a kid...but it's just not the same with all the construction over the years.'

Don't give up - Surrender.

"...I'd like a mass of opiates please."

'Ever think that if you make another billion you'll be happy, and then you do, but you're not?'

'I'm going to be a lot more decisive from now on. Well... maybe not a lot more, but at least a little more.'

"Oh, he enraged at spotting yet another reference to 'Pot and Kettle' in a reader's letter."

Panhandler holds sign: Will dispose of excess cash.