Ironically Parched Pillows

"Water balloons... water balloons..."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Geezer.

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

'The worst part is I'm afraid of the water.'

I'm no longer allergic to flowers!

'Let's keep going. Maybe we'll get there in time for the net olympics.'

Humpty Dumpty Gets in a Taxi.

"I need some medicine for an infection I'm going to get next week."

"Look kids - the countryside."

"Honey, it's me. Listen, I'm having second thoughts on fish for dinner."

"I'm afraid you've got subsidence."

'Luckily, my iPod contains a set of 10 songs I'd like to listen to if I were stranded on an island.'

'I don't like roughing it...'

A women sound asleep on her exercise bike clutches an energy bar while the floor is littered with empty energy drinks, energy bars, and energy powder containers.

"Your call may be monitored to give us all a laugh..."

Hell's Kitties

"There must be a mistake, I'm a tee-total vegan!"

At the agrophobic self help group's annual picnic.

Warning contains Nuts

'I can't see what point he's trying to make.'

'Holy smokes! Thank heavens we have the canoe on the roof!'

Right way

'Tap or bottled?'

'Stop acting so shifty. How could our dirty weekend possibly go wrong?'

Maid addressing domestic about religion

Support group for the accident-prone: Watch Your Step

"Cancel my appointment, something came up."