Ironically Cautious Pillows

Humpty Dumpty Gets in a Taxi.

Support group for the accident-prone: Watch Your Step

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

Big business is not evil

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

AI Summit

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

Kangaroo with a smoking baby.

Starving Artist Show has paintings of food.

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

You're fine, but we'd like to run some tests on your insurance card.

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

"Looks very promising. Put us down for one half of one share."

"So ... taking that nap during my performance review was a very bad idea."

"You've done some outstanding work in Public Relations, Benderman. Unfortunately, you work in Accounting.!

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

'Man, you are the first parole office to truly understand me.'

End of the Pier Show

'I don't know why other people pray in school, but I pray in school because I'm not supposed to.'

"You know Mike, you're so boring, you're interesting!"

'Let's keep going. Maybe we'll get there in time for the net olympics.'

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

Church Parking

'Look at the bum on that Wayne, is she that girl that worked at the Burger Shack?'

"And then one day, I had this revelation: Why not go public with my non-profit business and start making some big bucks?"

"I need some medicine for an infection I'm going to get next week."

"Okay, guys. Don't open your chutes till I give the word."

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

"I've watched these workout videos for hours. They haven't helped."

Feel good loser. NON WINNER

Half a loaf is better than none..

'It's true I'm homeless...that's why I want the loan.'

Antiques, Furniture Stripping, Stripping.

"Honey, it's me. Listen, I'm having second thoughts on fish for dinner."