Ironically Loud Leader Pillows

"I think I'd be better at leading if I could yell louder."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"So, is there any other funny business to attend to?"

"I love this work-from-home concept. Now I can fire someone without going to the office."

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

"Would someone dim the lights? I'm about to launch into the paranoid and conspiratorial portion of my report."

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

'I'm looking for someone to keep the blood off my hands.'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

"He took that kinda hard."

President of rubber band company shooting rubber band at employee.

'Not in here, stupid - I don't need to!'

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

Nicolas Sarkozy.

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

"Mildred, who haven't I fired yet?

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

Wheels for all purposes.

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

'I love an employee who withers under my touch.'

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

"How can one sum up Henry's impact on all our lives? Negligible, I guess that'd do it."

"Maybe yes. Maybe no."

'The head of our script department!'

'To motivate every single employee is one of the main principles of my management style. Well, if you don't meet the sales targets, you'll get sentenced to death.'

'When all else fails, try doing it the way the boss told you.'

'I hear your performance is roaring.'

"I think he's running as an independent."

'I'd fire you, but anticipating your next blunder really keeps the company jazzed.'

'It was George's first time on top of the bill.'

'I fired them all. 2.437 of them. I'll go it alone.'

'Go ahead and take a seat Johnson...no, the other one.'

"I actually did steal candy from a baby once. It was easy.''