Ironically Fit Pillows

Fitness Centre: Out for a Run Back in 3 Hours

Some exercise program - he power walks to snack machine!

Jim's Gym.

"And this is the nurse Jenkins who will be advising you on diet and exercise."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

Lecture on Chaos Theory delayed because the speaker dropped his notes.

"The key to success is knowing what people want. Too bad it isn't knowing what people don't want."

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

Devil worried because he feels good

There were times when Ralph wished god didn't move in such mysterious ways.

"I'm sending you to someone who's less squeamish."

"Sit still why I explain why exercise is important."

"What I'll miss most is his indefatigable optimism."

"We were all given motivational videos at work today. All it shows is our boss shouting and sacking people."

"And then in Italy Giovanni has found his soulmate"

'Gloria, I want you to meet my significant other.'

'It's a program on conserving energy.'

"I feel like a hypocrite writing a report on the Green Revolution. My trust fund portfolio has oil, mining, and tobacco stocks."

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

"I love this device! Not only does it answer questions, it also works out for me."

Sounds of Gridlock.

A women sound asleep on her exercise bike clutches an energy bar while the floor is littered with empty energy drinks, energy bars, and energy powder containers.

'I was caught jogging past an Olympics sponsor's fat and sugar outlet.'

Right way

"...and a report of a blue-skinned, green-haired male breaking into the School for the colour blind."

"I wasn't paying attention in school and accidentally became an attorney."

The auditor gets audited.