Ironically Faithful Pillows

There were times when Ralph wished god didn't move in such mysterious ways.

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"Keep your money, sir. I'm on strike!"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

The Snarky District

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

Sales - "Any other suggestion besides getting a bigger chart?"

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Christian and Born again Christian...

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"No more cartooning, I'm afraid. You've got an irony deficiency."

Holiday cottage

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

TV Chef Cooking Range

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"Less roman, more clef."

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

"You're afraid of what?"

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate

Sewee-Cide.

Tips for cabinet ministers: Want to keep your limo? Add black curtains and pretend it's a hearse!

'Well, looking on the bright side, there's only 10 of them.'

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'