Ironic Sports Follower Gifts

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Backfire

Alternative fielding positions

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

"Nice haircut."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"It's Friday the 13th. I feel lucky!"

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

Guide dog with eyesight proplem.

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'This is the kind of hat you wear to bed.'

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

Glenn Hoddle

"If you don't start misbehaving, there won't be any Halloween candy for you."

'It's not your fault, Dewey. Whenever a call doesn't go his way, he goes ballistic.'

'He's been at it too long. Now, when the bell rings, Dr. Pavlov salivates.'

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

Free Speech has heavy price.

Misery Memoirs Bumper Pack.

Did You Know That...Scientists in Illinois, USA, claim we would live a longer life if we were more like elves?