Ironic Spending Pillows

"How much were you thinking of spending?"

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

"Willis has kindly agreed to sum up our current financial position."

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

"It would appear that our 'rainy day investment fund' hasn't even yielded enough to buy us an umbrella each."

"Well, that's not a good market indicator."

"It might sound silly, but I don't think this job is good for my diet."

'Who's the wise guy?'

"I understand Senator Quigley was really counting on that raise."

80 Million Euros for a football player.

"He's all the stimulus I need."

'Ooops, wrong door!'

'We can't increase taxes on the rich - the rich are the ones who made America what it is today - and you only hope...someday...'

With more and more graduates defaulting on college loans, many loan companies have hired undercover hecklers!

Your Flexible Fiend.

Last minute gift ideas

"I'm still spending a lot of money, but I'm spending it ironically."

First Church of Fiscal Morality: The Meek Shall Inherit The National Debt!

'How much exactly is a chinese takeaway?'

'Yes, they do have magnetic strips, but no, iron supplements don't cause you to be attracted to credit cards.'

Gas prices

He knew it. She was cheating on him again. Buying brand-name products and putting them in bulk containers. You know, just to appear thrifty.

The first rule of mime club is: You don't talk about mime club.

'That lunch didn't agree with me - it wasn't tax deductable.'

'In appreciation of his thirty years as head galley slave, Narvak receives his retirement gift'

"I tried kicking the economic crisis down the road, and it kicked me back!"

"That's it then, they're unfashionable now I want to buy them"

"You can have the cherry - I'm on a diet."

The new ATMs.