Ironic Self-improver Pillows

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

Where your mind & battle are los

They hated me.

Butterfly Woman

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Self help acupuncture

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

I'm a self-made man!

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'