Ironic Proposer Pillows

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Admit it, we're lost."

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'Do your lawyers have to be here?'

"Now then Mr Parker - are you relaxed?"

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

"I suppose we could burst onto the literary scene."

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"

Meet The Ghostwriter

'You've cured my insufferable conceit, Doc -- now I'm perfect!'

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

'Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.'

'You certainly picked your moment to propose!'

"I bought it on Amazon. They have a good return policy."

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

This is very sweet, Phil, but no, I don't want to buy a violin from you.

"Oh, Stan, I love your sarcastic sense of humor."

"Remain calm and list your goals in order of priority."

'I hate to rush you, but I'm getting a leg cramp.'

"I eat green but I don't vote green."

The Dungeon

"It was all that running around town buying diet books that achieved my weight loss."

The bird of peace is caged

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

"What do you mean: 'You don't believe that this is my answerphone'? Do you think I'd lie?"

'Thank you for the job offer, sir, but I find that unemployment helps keep me humble.'

An ironic epiphany: "Wow, right, AS IF!"