Proposal Prankster Pillows

'Well, what if I were the last HETEROSEXUAL man on earth?'

'Honey, do you want to marry...umh... Honey?'

'Do your lawyers have to be here?'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'Let me present today's speaker.'

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

'It's too early to start being good for Christmas. I always wait until at least the Thanksgiving left-overs are all gone.'

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

'Sir, you need special help to fix this problem. Please hold the line whilst I put you through to our exorcist.'

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

Work stress.

He's just discovereed that our £450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in swindon using his mum's computer.

"Mrs. Oliphant, what is the company policy on our company policy?"

An artist waits to ambush an easel

"Student unicorn"

Man's house has sign reading 'Sod the council'. His neighbour says: 'Frankly, I'm amazed you got planning permission.'

Bowled out.

'Don't worry Honey there isn't anyone for miles!'

"This perfect present can't disappoint anybody because you buy it, wrap it in and throw it away."

'I'm going to have to let you go. Even though you're one of the best computer programmers we've ever had, we just can't tolerate you eating the other employees.'

Politics Books

That tom cat's spraying up the wall again

Artist paints nude model with Etch-a-Sketch.

"Kevin gerrymandered our room again!!"

'I'm sorry Adam, but you're ugly... I mean we all are, but especially you.'

'Now see, we couldn't have this kind of fun, if we met online.'

"I'm not a rule breaker, but the no eye blinking is going to be a tough one."

'Third quarter profits are down 3%, but we're expecting a rise in - Johnson! For the last time, stop trying to pick my nose!'

Design and Technology lesson

'This privacy fence doesn't provide much privacy.'