Ironic Polo Enthusiast Gifts

'You may have misunderstood about Yompville being a country club prison.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Keep your money, sir. I'm on strike!"

The Snarky District

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

Sales - "Any other suggestion besides getting a bigger chart?"

Holiday cottage

"No more cartooning, I'm afraid. You've got an irony deficiency."

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"You're afraid of what?"

Polo player on an inflatable horse.

"Less roman, more clef."

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

TV Chef Cooking Range

Performance reviews in Hell.

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

Turkey survivability - 'It's all in being able to put the old fork down and say no.'

Sewee-Cide.

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

Tips for cabinet ministers: Want to keep your limo? Add black curtains and pretend it's a hearse!

I've been scouting new locations for the strip. Great. We can certainly use some. Have you found anything exciting so far? Yes. A bench on the other side of the park. It has a trash can in the background.

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

Loser's Podium.

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'