Ironic Nickname Fans Pillows

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Backfire

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

End the Winter Blues

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

"Nice haircut."

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"You calm down."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

Greed.

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Telekinetics on strike...

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

'Ants of all lands, unite!'

"Is your dog friendly?"

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"I don't like the way the new pastor is looking at his flock."

"It's Friday the 13th. I feel lucky!"

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'